Right, where to start... for some reason I've found everything three times as funny today as I normally would, so I decided to start a blog. Well, why not?
As per usual, my day started with an 'ooft' as my dog leapt onto my stomach and woke me up, before proceeding to steal most of my duvet and half of my bed and make himself comfortable on it. After half an hour of uncomfortable, interrupted sleep I decided to get up, pick my laptop up off the floor and see if I had any interesting emails. Surprise surprise, I didn't. As I absent-mindedly wandered over to the other side of the room, I heard a shuffle and a thud - and turned around to find my afore-mentioned dog sitting in a heap on the floor looking surprised. Bless. I still don't know what happened, but I'm guessing he rolled onto his back and rolled a bit far, onto the floor.
So, some time passed as I spent the morning on my laptop, half watching This Morning and half reading some incredibly amusing arguments on the internet. And then something horrifying happened. This Morning finished without me noticing... and Loose Women came on. Oh God. Their 'banter' reminded me of a bunch of drunken fools after a night out - and that was before 'Chaz' from Chaz & Dave and 'Minty' from EastEnders appeared as guests and started singing. Badly. Out of tune. Horrified, I quickly turned off the TV. Please remind me never to watch that again.
After a fairly uneventful walk with my dog I returned home to find an email containing a link to a Youtube video. Curious as I am, I opened it to find a video of a handicapped Korean man in a mobility scooter ramming into the doors of a lift repeatedly, until they smashed open and he toppled over into the lift shaft. Five minutes of hysterical, tears-running-down-your-face laughter I realised the poor man had died. Oh well... maybe it was just a modern form of Natural Selection. I'm not trying to be harsh here, the death of anyone is terrible, but come ON... what was he expecting to happen?
I then opened another email from Amazon to find that Michael McIntyre's autobiography, which I ordered a while ago, is going to be released earlier than I thought. YES!!! You know your life is sad when that kind of thing makes your day but ho-hum! And then back to the EastEnders discussion I went. Now, I like EastEnders, but some of it is so mind-numbingly boring and unrealistic that it's good to have a complain with fellow viewers. But one person on this site takes complaining to a whole new level, saying that we shouldn't post "spoilers" of what happens because he/she watches the 'onthebus' on Sundays. The onthebus??? Cue another round of hysterical laughter. I even snigger now when I think of it. Good times.
Speaking of EastEnders, Kim's wobbling bosom successfully put me off my dinner AGAIN... why do you do this to us, EE? Are we not allowed to watch it without feeling like we're going to throw up? And another Kalfie duff-duff, no surprise there!
